Two things happened today that were kindof downers, honestly.
#1: I went clothing shopping for the first time since having Lucy.
I know we should be happy with the bodies and shapes God gives us, and I know I’m a healthy weight, but the clothes didn’t fit like they used too, blast it.
I used to walk into any store and every. single. outfit would look good on me. (Okay, so almost every outfit.)
That wasn’t the case today.
You see, I’m a milky mama, and right now those breastfeeding wonders make me gain 20lbs anytime I put on one of those cute oversized fall sweaters.
Frustrated, I ditched the trends and went to my favorite classic dresses and blouses that highlight curves for the feminine features they are, instead of making me look like a brick house in some knitted rectangle.
I still have a stomach separation, and I became lazy and stopped trying to close the gap, so my waist isn’t what it needs to be to make those fitted outfits pop.
I had a good bawl in Elisha’s arms when I came home and he held me and told me I was beautiful, which always helps more than I think is possible.
That led to me having this moment of inspiration to exercise consistently, and eat well, and . . . become vegan. (Well, that, and I wanted an excuse to not make dinner.)
I made a salad, but wanted cornbread. And after I made the cornbread with milk and eggs I wanted butter on top, so I pretty much ditched the vegan thing. However, the desire to clean up my act hasn’t changed.
Now for the media. Watch out, Katie’s on the warpath.
Tonight we started a show, and there was nudity and sex in the first 20 minutes . . . and it wasn’t even a show about a relationship. We turned it off.
Last week, the same thing happened in a different show I started. (Elisha and I have never actually watched a whole show since being married, and this week I’m pretty sure we’re done trying for good.)
I hate the way media cheapens sex.
It’s such a beautiful, intimate, blessed thing between a husband and wife in a God-ordained marriage. But the world has taken all the romance, all the purity, and all the suspense out of the act.
There’s no shame. No blush. No flirtation. Just animalistic instinct with no commitment, love, or . . . anything really.
Anyways, I can’t solve the World’s problems. Jesus did. And I am so, so, beyond grateful for his forgiveness to every single one of us. I need his Grace and Strength and Forgiveness every single day.
All rants aside, I am more in love with Elisha and the kiddos than ever before. We just sat on our special bench at the park during sunset this evening and I strained every one of my senses trying to soak it all in.
Leon ran in the grass laughing and playing–waving to every biker and jogger that passed. Lucy sat on Elisha’s lap, and I snuggled up next to him as we kissed and dreamed and whispered about how happy we are.
I’m tearing up now writing about it and I can’t even blame it on hormones because I’m not pregnant.
Why am I so blessed, Lord? Goodness knows, it’s nothing I’ve done. I’m so undeserving and yet you chose to give me the best this world has to offer. I am so humbled and in awe. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Please continue to bless our little family and keep the children safe. I pray you will continue to give Elisha wisdom as he leads our family, and I pray Leon and Lucy will give their lives to you at a young age. Please give us wisdom to train them up in the nurture and admonition of you. I love you, Lord.
Praise and glory be to your name! In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Your Kathryn Joy